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Recently on the edgar discusion list serveral people where having a protracted argument (i.e. flame war) about how goth certian clubs that play in the same venue ( Holyrood student union Edinburgh) are. Eventually I had had enough of it and send this into the discussion. It is heavly based upon the "Life of Brian" a film by Monty Python. Vain is one of the clubs that runs there and EdG&R is the Edinburgh Univeristy Goth and Rock Soc. which also runs a club called .Conception there as well. All other characters are based upon those that had entered into the flame war or whom I thought would apreciate it. |
| Vio and Nathan: | |
| Speak to us, O Goth! Speak to us! | |
| Vain: | |
| Go away! | |
| Followers: | |
| A blessing! A blessing! | |
| Vio: | |
| How shall we go away, O Goth?! | |
| Vain: | |
| Oh, just go away! Leave me alone! | |
| Soren: | |
| Give us a sign! | |
| Vio: | |
| He has given us a sign! He has brought us to this place [Holyrood]! | |
| Vain: | |
| I didn't bring you here! You just followed me! | |
| Soren: | |
| Oh, it's still a good sign by any standard. | |
| Vio: | |
| Master! Your people have walked many miles to be with You! They are weary and have not danced. | |
| Vain: | |
| It's not my fault they haven't danced! | |
| Vio: | |
| There is no music in this Union! | |
| Vain: | |
| Well, what about the cd-decks over there? | |
| Followers: | |
| Hhhh! A miracle! A miracle! Ohh!... | |
| Soren: | |
| He has made the cd-decks fruitful by His words. | |
| Nathan: | |
| They have brought forth CD's. | |
| Vain: | |
| Of course they've brought forth CDs! They're cd-decks! What do you expect?! | |
| Shana: | |
| Show us another miracle! | |
| Vio: | |
| Do not tempt Him, shallow ones! Is not the miracle of the cd-decks enough?! | |
| Edg&r: | |
| I say, those are my CDs. | |
| Vio: | |
| They are a gift from God! | |
| Edg&r: | |
| They're all I've bloody got to listen to. Uhm. I say, get off those cd-decks! Go on! Clear off, the lot of you. Go on. | |
| Rory: | |
| O Goth! I am affected by a greying of the clothes. | |
| Steve: | |
| I am healed! The Goth has healed me! | |
| Vain: | |
| I didn't touch him! | |
| Steve: | |
| I was bald, and now I have a small fuzzy growth. | |
| Followers: | |
| A miracle! A miracle! A miracle! | |
| Edg&r: | |
| Tell them to stop it. I hadn't danced for eighteen years till he came along. | |
| Followers: | |
| A miracle! He is the Goth! | |
| Edg&r: | |
| Well, he hurt my feelings! | |
| Followers: | |
| Hurt my feelings, o Goth! Hurt my ego. Hurt mine... | |
| Vio: | |
| Hail Goth! | |
| Vain: | |
| I'm not a Goth! | |
| Vio: | |
| I say You are, O Goth, and I should know. I've followed a few. | |
| Followers: | |
| Hail Goth! | |
| Vain: | |
| I'm not the Goth! Will you please listen? I am not the Goth, do you understand?! Honestly! | |
| Shana: | |
| Only the true Goth denies His vainity. | |
| Vain: | |
| What?! Well, what sort of chance does that give me? All right! I am a Goth! | |
| Followers: | |
| He is! He is a Goth! | |
| Vain: | |
| Now, fuck off! [silence] | |
| Vio: | |
| How shall we fuck off, O Goth? | |
| Vain: | |
| Oh, just go away! Leave me alone. | |
| Edg&r: | |
| You told these people to play my CD's. You hurt my feelings. You break my brooding silence, and then you try and clean up on my musical tastes! | |
| Vain: | |
| Oh, lay off! | |
| Vio: | |
| This is the Goth, the Chosen One! | |
| Edg&r: | |
| No, he's not. | |
| Vain: | |
| Aaaagh! | |
| Vio: | |
| An unbeliever! | |
| Followers: | |
| An unbeliever! | |
| Vio: | |
| Persecute! Kill the heretic! | |
| Followers: | |
| Kill the heretic! Kill him! Persecute! Kill!... | |